How to Rebuild Broken Trust in Marriage for a Happy Future
Every marriage has its ups and downs.
Are you thinking about quitting and starting over, or working on your current relationship? Learn to compromise in your marriage.
Mistrust can arise from failed commitments, lies, infidelity, and more. Rebuilding trust requires the effort of both partners. The couple must be willing to work things out together.
Do you want to know how to rebuild trust in your marriage? Keep scrolling.
Rebuild Trust in Marriage
Talk About the Issue
Accepting communication at this point is a big deal for the offender since it feels like you’re continuing to hurt your partner. However, it’s crucial to tell your partner what happened. Right now, your partner wants to talk. They want to know what happened and get answers to the questions suffocating them.
Be honest about the issue. Avoiding the conversation makes your partner feel ignored and as if their feelings don’t matter. Don’t defend your actions, as they have wronged the other person.
Answer all your partner’s questions to their satisfaction. This will be what they reflect on if they consider forgiving you. Help them understand if they contributed to your actions in any way.
Questions your partner might ask include:
- Why did you take such action?
- Did you consider their feelings at the time?
- What circumstances pushed you to act that way?
- What did they do to force you into such action?
- When and where did it happen?
Accept Your Mistake and Apologize
Show your partner that you understand you were wrong. Do not justify your actions. For example, avoid saying you acted because of their behavior.
Remember, even if your partner pushed you, it’s not the time to bring that up. They may not realize how their daily actions affected you if you never told them. They are innocent and hurt.
Avoid phrases that justify your actions, such as:
- “All I did was…”
- “It’s not a big deal.”
- “This minor issue is making you sad?”
- “What else do you want me to do?”
- “I have already apologized.”
Apologizing isn’t just saying sorry. Do not buy chocolates from the supermarket to show you’re sorry.
Allow Your Partner to Let Go of the Anger
Respect your partner’s personal space. Each individual reacts differently when hurt. Some will cry continuously and get angry over everything. Others might lose their appetite and stop eating.
All of this affects mental, emotional, and physical health. Allow your partner to realize their feelings, accept the situation, and make decisions. Let them express their resentment towards you.
This resentment helps the offender understand how things reached this point. The betrayed should also try to let go of their anger quickly, as prolonged resentment continues to hurt them.
Commit to Rebuilding Lost Trust
The betrayed person often questions whether the relationship is worth their emotional and physical sacrifices. They wonder if they should continue committing to the relationship or end it.
The offender questions whether their actions were worth the current problems and worries if things can return to normal. They are concerned about their partner’s decisions and how it will affect both of them.
Both partners should remember that remorse, regrets, and anger are part of healing, both personally and in the relationship. Trust cannot be one-sided. Both the betrayed and the betrayer must commit to rebuilding the relationship.
Set expectations for each other to fulfill. Agree on these expectations together. If it involves changing friends, make those changes.
Understand Healing Takes Time
Your partner’s acceptance to work on the relationship doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten what happened. It still lingers in their mind, so acknowledging your past wrongs is not an offense.
Realize things won’t be the same again. It’s like a torn cloth—no matter how well you mend it, something will always be off. Healing takes time, and your commitment to change is essential.
Be patient with your partner during the healing process. Remember, forgiveness is not something you deserve or are entitled to. It’s a choice they have made.
Try and Trust Again
Rebuilding trust is like a child learning to walk. They fall, get up, and try again until they succeed. The same goes for the betrayed partner. They may feel happy one moment and disappointed the next.
Stop dwelling on the past. Let go, forgive, and you will feel free again. Be aware of your partner’s feelings and thoughts, as they are affected by the situation. If you’ve decided to forgive, do it wholeheartedly.
The offender must be honest from now on. Accept forgiveness and move forward. Both partners should be open to personal growth for things to change.
Set goals to achieve together. These goals should have a timeline to help bring you closer. For example, if your goal is to have a child, decide when to start trying. If you plan to start a business together, decide when to begin and set a timeline for gathering the starting capital.
Rebuild Your Marriage
Communication is key to rebuilding your marriage. Both of you must express your thoughts, emotions, troubles, and problems. You can’t expect your partner to know what’s wrong if you don’t talk to them.
Find the love language you both understand. Go on dates, travel, make plans, and work together.
Recognize that your relationship is new. It’s a fresh start to work things out.
When to Seek Professional Help
The betrayed partner can seek counseling if the emotional impact causes mental problems. If they are not eating, it can affect their physical health and lead to other medical issues.
If both partners have tried to work things out and it’s not working, but you still want to be together, consider therapy. Agreeing to therapy is crucial, as forced therapy can have disadvantages.
You can also seek individual therapy to understand the broken relationship and gain clarity.
Signs of Trust in Marriage
- You don’t feel the need to keep secrets from your partner.
- You talk to your partner, and they listen attentively.
- Your partner is always there to support you.
- Both of you are committed to the relationship.
- There is mutual respect.
- You respect each other’s physical and emotional boundaries.
- You feel safe with each other.
Bottom Line
It’s possible to rebuild a broken relationship if both partners are committed. The question of whether to try again or quit is for the couple to decide.
In marriage, you have the power to solve your problems and stay together for many years, or quit and try again. Consider the steps above to have a happier and healthier relationship than before.
